


Because I love you, you idiot!

by What_point



Series: We are here, together. [4]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex has anxiety, Bisexual Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Ghosts, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Pansexual Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Polyamory, Post-Season/Series 01, Reggie Has ADHD (Julie and The Phantoms), The boys share one braincell and julie accidentally took it with her to school, Touch-Starved, but i love him anyways, like there is very little angst, reggie is dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26719096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_point/pseuds/What_point
Summary: As if they both can read his mind, they turn to look at him. Alex pulls his hand free, reaching for him. Luke’s hand follows quickly, opening for him. Asking their silent question that he can hear loud and clear now.He never would have dreamed of the day that even one of them would see him as more than their bandmate, but there they are, suddenly obtainable, reachable. Both of them. And they want him too, like he wants them.…part of a series, can be read as stand alone, but I recommend reading “We are here, together.” because there are a few references made here about things that happened in that fic.
Relationships: Alex & Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex & Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: We are here, together. [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939318
Comments: 17
Kudos: 236





	Because I love you, you idiot!

**Author's Note:**

> This happens around a week after they watched the movie in "We are here, together.". In the time of events, Luke and Alex have already shared their little moment from "Because real things can disappear." so you can read that first, but it is certainly not necessary.  
> I hope you like it!

“Why would you say that!” he says, moving his guitar to his back. He stares at Luke, waiting for an answer.

Instead, Luke swings his own guitar over his shoulder, almost hitting a microphone stand.

Luke’s hands grasp around the collar of his leather jacket, stepping into his space. Shaking him till the world is spinning. Reggie tries to keep his eyes focussed on Luke's face, but it is no use.

"Because I love you, you idiot!" Luke screams at him. Bits of spit fly out his mouth as he shouts it, landing on his jacket, but Reggie doesn't care. He stares at Luke, mind terrifyingly empty, not a single thought floating around.

"You do what?" he is able to say. He doesn’t recognize his own voice. As if he is a spectator of his own body, watching along over his shoulder.

"I love you!" Luke stops shaking him, but stays close. Their chests are pressed against each other. He can feel the rapid motion of Luke’s breathing. He looks mad, furious. Hot red cheeks and intense eyes.

"I. Love. You." he tells him, spelling out the words for him. Still, they barely register.

"But you and Alex?" He doesn't understand. His brain is working in overdrive, but he keeps on getting the same result. Error. Error. Error.

Luke start laughing, but he doesn't sound happy at all, he looks much closer to crying. His grip on his jacket doesn’t loosen, pulling him along. Reggie steps closer, trying to make sure he doesn’t trip. He still does, stumbling against Luke, who catches him, keeping them both standing.

Luke seems to regain his composure. His eyes flicker between Reggie’s face, his own hands and the leather he is still holding on to. His hands fall of him. Reggie stares after them, suddenly missing the feeling. Luke moves backwards, out of reach.

He shakes his head wildly, his hair dancing around him, flying from side to side. When he looks back up, his hair is standing upright. He goes through his hair with his hand, it doesn’t help.

"Oh Reg." he sighs, taking in a shuddering breath. Clearly forcing himself to calm down. He moves his guitar from his shoulder to his stand. Reggie follows his movements on autopilot, Letting his own bass guitar rest in it stand. His hands feel empty.

He stares at Luke, waiting for the inevitable. Luke’s hand is resting on the head of his guitar, a deep frown between his brows. He runs his fingers over the stings, before turning back to him.

“You don’t understand.” It isn’t a question, but Reggie still nods.

He wants to pick his guitar back up, to have something to do with his hands. Instead he stays frozen in place, with Luke’s eyes fixed on him, keeping him there. He can see the exact moment when the idea pops up in Luke’s head. The frown softens, his eyes become brighter. He smiles eagerly, the look he always gets when he thinking up a ‘ _brilliant’_ plan, one that could lead to greatness or utter doom. Never taking the safe, middle route.

_Oh no._

Luke steps closer. Much more gentle this time, but with a determined look on his face, one that awes him.

He places his hands over Reggie’s shoulders, soft and steady. Only now his hands are open, not forcing him to stay close. He looks away, the task of keeping his eyes raised suddenly too daunting for him.

“Reggie,”– Luke starts, moving his head in front of his vision when he doesn’t look at him.

“Reggie, please look at me.”

Reggie nods, looking away from where the sunlight dances over the floor. He is only able to keep eye contact for a few seconds, but he keeps his head up. Gaze shifting between Luke’s eyes, hair line, nose and chin.

“You have to be honest with me, okay?”

He nods again, heartbeat loud in his ears.

“You have to tell me how you feel about Alex.” Reggie’s eyes immediately shoot back up to Luke’s. He stares at him, eyes big and wide, unable to compresence what’s happening. Luke seems to understand his silent question and lightly squeezes his shoulder.

“Close your eyes.”

After a long moment in which Luke only stares back at him, he does.

“Now think about Alex. Tell me what goes on in that thick head of yours.”

Slowly, his own thoughts return to him. _Alex_. Oh god. He knows him and Luke have a thing going on, since the nineties really. He can see it, he might be oblivious, but he is not that oblivious. They still haven’t told him, it hurts that they don’t trust him enough to tell him. He doesn’t want to impose by asking. He already knows and that is enough. that should be enough. _It isn’t._

“Nope, this not it. I don’t know what you’re thinking of right now, but go back. Focus on Alex.” Luke says, squeezing his shoulders firmer this time.

Reggie’s thoughts rush as thunderclouds past him. Far away and beyond his reach, constantly _just_ outside his grasp. He doesn’t dare stepping into the storm. Till he is suddenly hit with a memory from some time back.

_He had been just as high on emotions then, working himself up to a state. And then, Alex had been there, knowing he had needed him. He had held him, grounding him, calming him._

The moment the scene stops playing in front of his eyes, an other immediately starts.

_How Alex, only a few days ago, when they_ _all_ _had watched_ _that_ _movie together, had reached up, touching his hair. Pulling his fingers through, slowly, softly. Still looking at the screen, as if the whole thing was the most normal situation ever._

After that the memories become shorter, following each other up at a fast pace he isn’t able to keep fully up with.

 _Alex’s soft smile. The way he plays drums when he’s sleepy. How h_ _is_ _hands always_ _lingers_ _on his shoulder blades after a hug. The way he talks. The flip thing he does with his drumsticks._ _How he pushes his hands in his pockets._ _The look he sends him when they are playing together. the soft furrow between his brows._ _His arms around him._ _His face pressed into his hair._ _The soothing_ _feeling_ _he_ _brings_ _with him._

_He never wants Alex to let him go._

Reggie grasps out loud, opening his eyes. Staring straight at Luke, whose eyes are tender and pleased. He only gets a second before the world is dark again.

“No, no, no.” Luke moves his hand over his eyes, blinding him.

“We’re not done yet.” he mutters into his ear, his breath warm. Reggie can feel ghostbumbs all over his arms and neck.

“Okay.” he whispers, breathless.

“Close your eyes.”

This time he does so right away, his lashes brush against Luke’s palm. He can feel Luke smile against his jaw.

“Now think about me.”

He opens his mouth to sputter out an objection, only for Luke to place his hand over his parted lips. His hands almost covering his entire face.

“You don’t have to say anything, just,”– Luke’s hands fall from his face, leaving him without touch.

“Just think about me.” Luke whispers from somewhere close, just out of reach.

He tries not to, but his mind immediately brings him back to earlier, the moment, however, feels like it happened years ago.

 _Luke standing close, closer th_ _a_ _n they_ _usually would_ _._ _His fists_ _around_ _his collar,_ _grip_ _tight._ _If_ _Luke_ _hadn’t been shaking him, he was sure he would have been able to count_ _the freckles on his skin,_ _the stars in his eyes_ _._

He can feel his cheeks heat up, only becoming warmer as he remembers Luke is watching him. Knowing he is thinking of him.

 _Luke_ _moving_ _closer, singing softly to him._ _H_ _is h_ _and_ _grasping_ _the back of his neck_ _when he flinche_ _d_ _away_ _._ _S_ _o close._ _T_ _hen_ _he_ _had_ _moved_ _away before he_ _could_ _do anything._ _O_ _nly_ _for_ _Luke_ _to kiss_ _his_ _own_ _fingers before pressing them to his mouth._ _Leaving him_ _overwhelmed and speechless._ _He hadn’t been able to shake of the feeling for the rest of band practice._

Other memories flood his mind.

_Luke’s sweet puppy smile. The way he would push the pen against his lips when working on lyrics. How he would pat him on his back. His chicken scratches of a handwriting. The way he would flop down on the couch. His hair falling in his face while singing. Oh god, singing together, using the same mic. His sleeveless shirts. The way he kept his guitar pick between his teeth. The energy that he constantly seemed to possess. The way he would lean close, daunting him._

“ _Luke_.” he whimpers. His thoughts coming to a screeching halt when he is hit with the realisation that he spoke out loud.

He doesn’t dare to open his eyes, feeling his cheeks heat up even more. His heart is beating like thunder, as loud as Alex’s drumming. He is sure that by now Luke would be able to hear it.

He startles at the soft brush of Luke’s hand over his arm. Luke squeezes his hand, holding on just to long. Running his thumb over his bracelet.

“Now, the last thing I’ll ask of you.” Luke grabs his other hand, squeezing both at the same time.

“Think of Alex and me.” he lets go as he says it, but doesn’t move away this time.

He tries not to, but the memories come to him faster than he could ever outrun. _The way Alex and Luke would press together. How they would grab each others hand when they were startled. How Luke would throw both his arms around Alex and Reggie, sharing his excitement. The way Alex looked at Luke when things weren’t going to plan. How Luke would always glance at Alex when a gig was more pact than they had originally thought, checking in after every song, without saying a word._

Then he is hit with the memory of them sitting on the couch a few nights back. _How Luke had pressed his face against his shoulder, ensuring that he could feel the way the boy had smiled through his shirt. How Alex had been just as close, face buried in his hair. Luke’s hand on his knee, Alex arm around his waist. He thought he knew what it had meant, but he hadn’t been certain. And by the next day he had been to scared to ask._

_Alex had sat next to him while they had watched Julie pace around, ranting about school. They sat so close their thighs pressed against each other. Alex would glancing at him out of the corner of his every so often. Watching him, waiting._

_Luke had left the ghost of his fingers trailing over his skin. Over his bare arms, before band practice. Then over the back of his neck and shoulders, after band practice. Luke had never been good at waiting. But he too had watched him._

Wherever he went he felt their eyes watching him. Setting his skin on fire. Burning him. Till nothing but ash remained.

_The way they had stared at him for the past week, waiting. Waiting for his answer to their silent question. He hadn’t understood then, he did now._

“ _Oh._ ” he opens his eyes, but they don’t focus. His brain briefly registers that someone walks in and comes to a halt almost immediately. The thought disappears as quickly as it came.

“Luke.” Alex hisses threatening, “What did you do.”

A fleeting thought tells him he should greet the drummer. Nothing happens. A loading screen shows, telling him the update is on 0.4% and will take approximately 7 and a half hours to complete.

“I made him realise.” Luke whisper yells back.

“I told you, we were going to give him time to realise by himself. You broke him.” Alex throws his arm up, clearly motioning to him.

“I didn’t break him,” Luke moves in front of him, and Reggie briefly wonders what would happen if he would collapse. It doesn’t seem like the best moment for it, though, so he just stares at Luke foggy shoulder blades. Maybe he should try to get back to the surface, his eyes are clearly not working properly.

“You totally did.” Alex pushes Luke out the way, but there is no ill meaning behind it.

Alex’s soft hands envelope his face.

“Reggie, you still in there?” Alex asks softly, voice merely above a whisper.

He nods, not sure if that is the correct answer. Then Alex smiles that soft little smile, and Reggie knows it is.

“Please come back to us.”

_Us. oh. He likes that._

He tries to focus on Alex’s face, but everything is blurry. So instead he directs his attention to the feeling of Alex’s hands against his face. Each finger pressing softly against his skin, holding him delicately.

The moment he blinks, the world comes rolling back in, full force. He starts laughing. Alex throws his arms around him, pulling him against his chest. He is shaking, and it takes awhile before he notices how his own laughs have transformed into sobs. How he is crying his eyes out against Alex’s shoulder. He feels Luke’s warm hand on the small of his back, making slow circles.

“I didn’t know, I thought I got it wrong. I didn’t want to ruin things.” he tries to say, but the words come out muffled and broken. Luke shushes him, folding his arms around both of them. And he cries, cries out all the emotions that have been stuck in him for the last decade.

Still snivelling he detaches himself from Alex. Staring at the noticeable spot he left on Alex’s hoodie.

“I made you all gross.” he croaks out.

Luke lets out a relieved snort, while Alex only smiles tenderly at him.

“Don’t worry about it.” he grabs his hand, squeezing softly, not letting go.

“That night, with the movie, I thought I might be right, I hoped it. But I was scared I was projecting things that weren’t there.” his voice is hoarse and his throat hurts, and he can feel the beginning of a headache forming. He didn’t even know ghosts could get those.

Even so he wouldn’t want trade it for the world. Not with how Alex’s thumb makes circles over his knuckles. With Luke’s jittery leg he can see from the corner of his eye, telling him the singer wants to step closer, but is forcing himself to let him finish first.

“So when you said that we are here, together, you meant it as,”– he stops, a sudden lump stuck in his throat.

“As us, in any way we want.” Alex says, wiping away a stray tear on his cheek., his finger top lingering.

“As I said,” Luke lays his hand on his shoulders, shuffling closer. Apparently given up on the impossible task of staying still. _He never liked it when the centre of attention isn’t focussed on him_ _for to long._

“I love you, Reggie.” the words do register this time, but they first have to bounce around his brain like the ball in a pinball machine. He can feel his cheeks heat up, an energy shot surges through him.

“Oh!” he starts grinning, wide and dumb and he doesn’t care. His legs feel jumpy and he follows on instinct, pushing himself into Luke’s space. Luke grabs his face, a familiar feeling. He beams at him, Luke smiles back brightly.

“Yeah!”

Luke’s left hand slides down when he turns to Alex, sly smile on his lips. Reggie can see his eyes twinkle in mischief. His hand finds his place on the back of his neck, taking a hold of his necklace. He runs the beads between his fingers, gently pulling Reggie along with him, seemingly unconsciously.

He offers his other hand to Alex, who takes it. Luke intertwines their fingers before pulling him closer, causing Alex to stumble forward. He raises their hands to his mouth, placing a kiss on each of Alex’s knuckles. Alex is staring straight at him, eyes wide and lips parted slightly. With Alex’s hand still pressed to his lips, he looks up, his smugness showing through love eyes he is making.

“I love you, Alex.” he says with the same amount of certainty as he told Reggie and Alex instantly becomes red. His whole face flusters, as if he is completely thrown off balance. Reggie loves it. Loves how Luke’s words affect Alex like that.

A wave of emotions and energy washes over him. He grabs Alex’s other hand, making the boy look his way.

“Alex.” he says, not being able to keep the excitement out of his voice. Luke presses his thumb gently but solid against his nape, causing a shudder through him.

“Yeah?” the boy smiles softly, the dark pink still high on his cheeks.

“I love you.”

Immediately his face becomes perfectly red again. Reggie laughs in pure bliss. Looking with delight at the mess that is Alex. His words did that. He did that.

Luke sniggers next to him, making him turn on his heels. He grabs the singers face, thumbs pressed against his cheeks, just like he had just done to him.

“Luke, I love you.” Reggie says full of glee. He can say it now. He watches as Luke’s smile slowly grows into his dumb, wide, puppy smile. The one that used to make Reggie’s heart beat when he still got one. It still has the same effect, only now he doesn’t have the body parts to put the blame on. Not that he needs to any more.

_Oh, he doesn’t need to any more._

“I love you.” he tells them again, announcing it, feeling high in his head. The world is spinning, but in a good way. One that makes him want to laugh and jump and cry joyful tears.

Alex is still red, but seems to have shook of most of the daze. His eyes lock with Reggie’s, pulling him down to earth, bringing the world to a rest. He moves close, –Luke’s hand disappears from his skin–, slowly laying his arms around him, burrowing his face in Reggie’s neck. Rocking them back and forth.

He can feel Alex jittery breath against his throat.

“Reggie, I care so much about you.” he breathes out. Even though Alex stops there, Reggie knows he isn’t done. He stays silent, holding on just a little bit tighter. Over Alex shoulder he looks at Luke. Their eyes meet, and Luke smiles tenderly at him, he carefully smiles back. Luke nods reassuring.

It takes a while before Alex starts again, but he doesn’t mind, just standing there, their arms around each other, it is enough for him.

“I-i,” Alex starts, his hands forming fists around the underside of his jacket. Pulling on the leather.

“You?” he asks gently.

“I love you.” he responses, so weak and faint, that it is almost inaudible. But he heard it, he did. He crushes Alex in his arms. Letting go when he lets out an actual squeak.

“Sorry.” he says, not feeling sorry at all. Alex looks up briefly, before immediately looking away again. However, he stays close, holding on to his jacket, his fingers hooked through a strap on his lower back. When Alex looks up a second time, Reggie is grinning. Alex’s eyes wrinkle when his smiles back.

He glances over his shoulder at Luke, softly tugging on his jacket before slipping away.

Reggie watches him grab Luke’s hand with both of his, squeezing his eyes shut in the process. Taking in an audible breath, anxiety written all over his face.

Luke stands there, patiently, seeming to know how it goes, that he has been in this situation before. And Reggie expects himself to be hit by a form of jealousy, only none finds him. He simply feels complete adoration for the two of them. How Luke wraps his other hand around Alex’s. The way Alex inching closer to him and then back, only to shuffle forward again directly after.

Alex takes in an other trembling gulp of air, opening his eyes. his face is tense, determined.

“Iloveyou.” he rapidly pipes out, barely above a whisper. Luke’s whole face lights up. His eyes shining. Alex tense shoulders relax. The amused look in his eyes contradicts directly with the pink colour of his cheeks as he gazes at Luke.

And Reggie can see it all, he is allowed to.

As if they both can read his mind, they turn to look at him. Alex pulls his hand free, reaching for him. Luke’s hand follows quickly, opening for him. Asking their silent question that he can hear loud and clear now.

_He never would have dreamed of the day that even one of them would see him as more than their bandmate, but there they are, suddenly obtainable, reachable. Both of them. And they want him too, like he wants them._

He hurries forwards, falling into them, almost knocking all of them over. Luke laughs, snaking his arm around his waist, pulling him against him. Alex presses closer, murmuring something about how they are ‘going to be the death of him… again.’

Reggie lays his head on Luke’s shoulder, Alex resting his chin on top of his head, standing close. He blindly grabs Alex hand, intertwining their fingers.

“I love you.” he mutters, Luke taps his fingers against his waist in response, pulling him impossible closer. Alex squeezes his hand, blowing a soft breath down his hair.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on the sole thought that in "We are here, together." they never spoke out what they actually were and how they felt, leaving things unclear. It was meant like that, leaving things to the readers own interpretation.
> 
> But I thought it would be interesting to work out how insecurities can take over those unclear feelings and make things much more complicated than needed.  
> commutation is key, kids.
> 
> I also kinda projected my own insecurities onto Reggie and later Alex in this, so that's an interesting little fun fact!
> 
> Anyway, like always, if you have any tips, tricks or just something to say please do so! Your comments really make my day!


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